A poem in the style of Doctor Suess // Expressing my righteous indignation at Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen’s Emma
I do not like her in a book
I do not like her in a nook
I do not like her personality
She would not win Miss Congeniality.
I do not like her here and there
I do not like her in her lair
If people heard the things she said
Behind their backs, they’d flush red.
Perhaps I’d like her with some kindness
Her biggest fault might be her blindness
Her prejudice could be much less
She’s worse than Miss Elizabeth*.
I do not like her matchmaking
It leaves my miserable head aching
From the times I’ve banged it against the wall
I do not like her, she makes me bawl.
Perhaps later in the story
She’ll fall in a different category
But until time can tell,
I do not like her. All is well.
I hope you were amused by my mini-poetical-rant. Seriously, am I the only person in the world who doesn’t like Emma Woodhouse? Pride and Prejudice was sooooo much better.