I’ve decided to do a post of first lines from my numerous stories/story beginnings/story stuff. A few warnings before we start…

  • When I first began writing, I had a “thing” for fairy tale endings, beginnings, and everything in between. “Once upon a time”, “they lived happily ever after”, etc. Later, I had an obsession with high fantasy (C.S. Lewis, Lloyd Alexander, etc.) and heavy accents that I knew nothing about (mostly influenced by Redwall books).
  • Also, I was heavily under the influence of a… um… a writing program that was… less than desirable? And it told me to use lots of modifiers! Lots and lots and lots! And never use the word said! So I didn’t. And my writing suffered.
  • Of course the fact that I was a beginning writer should not be forgotten. But I still shan’t put any of the really bad beginnings.
  • Oh. And I forgot to mention. I didn’t know what “editing” was until circa 2016. So prepare yourself.
  • Most of them technically don’t have names. When that happens, I just use the main character’s name as the document title, so that’s basically what I’ll do here.

These beginnings were written from 2014-2017.


 “Once upon a time, there was a small, white cottage by a waterfall, and in it, there lived a girl named Raziela and her large dog, Jock.”

Raziela’s Story, finished, 2014


 “Once there was a raindrop. Her name was Rae. She slipped down a window, unaware that she was spoiling some child’s picnic. She slid on, not knowing that two little boys were watching her.”

Raindrop Rae, finished, 2014 


“It’s not very pleasant knowing that your grandfather was a deserter from the army.”

Dragon Tales, finished, 2014


 “It was midday. As a hammer clanged in the forge, Eliot of Darsville pulled up a bucket of water from the well.”

The Seven Simons, finished, 2015 (this is actually the second version of this story I wrote.)


 “My story begins, I suppose, on the day I was born, but since I don’t remember that, I’ll start with my accidental (and unfortunate, I might add) meeting with Prince Wilmet.”

Elwyn and Harlan, finished, 2015, second version (again)


 “Calix stumbled over a stone in the rough road.

“Come back ‘ere, you young scoundrel!” A voice echoed through the streets.

 Calix ducked into an alley and watched his pursuers run by. Safe, he thought.”

Calix, unfinished, 2015


 “As Ardyth Forsyth raced down the road to Bushra, her skirt whipping around her legs and her braids catching in the wind, she bumped into a man and knocked him over. He was a strange man, his eyes wide, his hair mussed, his clothing disheveled.

 ‘Turn around, little missy,’ he said fearfully. ‘Believe me, you don’t want to go to Bushra, not right now.’

 ‘Why not?” Ardyth asked. ‘I’m on my way to see my aunt.’

 ‘She’s very likely dead,’ said the man, ‘if she lived in Bushra.'”

Ardyth, unfinished, 2015


 “Bowan didn’t do anything. To be in jail, I mean. He was just a gawky, ungainly boy, too small for his fifteen years and scrawny as a rabbit in midwinter.”

Bowan and Eliana, unfinished, 2015


 “Evian O’Raleigh was running away again. He ducked under a low-hanging branch and leaned against a tree, catching his breath.”

Evian, unfinished, 2015


 “Fifteen-year-old Colin Timblin sat underneath the old oak tree whittling and thinking about the rumors around his village. The popular one was that the kingdom was being invaded by cats. He didn’t really care who ruled; to a farm boy, one king was as bad as the other. He and his mother would still live in poverty anyway, so what was the difference?”

Colin, unfinished, 2015


 “Skye Ransom envisioned herself hurling a knife and it hitting dead center every time. This was her favorite fantasy, the one she most often hid in during the long, boring classes.”

Taratung, unfinished, 2015


 “Sixteen-year-old Jorel Slyte woke up to the sound of gunshots and a pounding on the door.”

Jorel Slyte, unfinished, 2015


 “The young girl looked around at her miserable surroundings, and clutched the tiny baby close to her chest. It was Christmas Eve, and nine-year-old Mary Fairfax had no place to spend the night.”

The Perfect Christmas, finished, 2015


 “Rosie slipped away from the small crowd of people wearing their Sunday best. She didn’t want to talk to them. She wouldn’t talk to them. Their intentions were surely kind and good, but she wanted to cry, and she didn’t want anyone to see her doing it.”

Unnamed pioneer story, unfinished, 2016


 “I slipped into an alley, clutching my satchel. As I knew all too well, the city of Ezei was infested with thieves, beggars, and pickpockets.”

Elle, finished, 2016


 “My old violin sang the last notes of “Ave Maria”. I let the sound linger, then put down my bow. It needed an accompaniment, and the notes were twangy, but other than those tiny details, I thought my father’s violin sounded beautiful.”

Imaginary, unfinished, 2016


Oswell’s heart sank as he got the report card. The F’s stood out like sore thumbs. In a few of his worst subjects, like Maiden-Scaring and Fire-Breathing, he had F minuses.”

Oswell, finished, 2017


 “I stood on the edge of the mountain, hopeless. The smoldering, water-drenched ruins of my once village hurt every particle of my pathetic being.”

Hanna’s Hope, finished, 2017 (coming soon!)


“It was my fault entirely, so that’s what I told the police.”

Ryker, unfinished, 2017


 Did y’all like them? Which was your favorite? Do you think I’ve progressed in my writing? Tell me in the comments!

And yes… I’m a day late.  On the first week I had a scheduled “publishing date” too. Tsk, tsk. Sorry ’bout that.

I'm Zane Jones, a young creative trying to figure life out. I make messes and sometimes art.


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